WHAT TO DO IF YOU FEEL HOMESICK WHILST LIVING ABROAD IN PARIS

I moved to Paris on an integrated year abroad placement, for my degree. If it wasn't compulsory, I wouldn't have come.

The notion that I'm working in Paris for my year abroad is often met with excitement, awe and a touch of jealousy. But it means something entirely different, when you are the one packing your life up into suitcases and moving to a different country, completely alone, at 20 years old. It's quite a burden you put on yourself to succeed in this new environment; to master the language, to make friends, to learn about the culture from the inside, as it were, and to somehow thrive despite all the heartache and setbacks and loneliness.

There have been aspects of living in Paris I love. I adore the freedom that my Pass Navigo allows me - I can hop on a bus right outside my apartment, and have two different metros within four minutes of my place. I like being in a big city, and I particularly like that I know my way around now. I like Paris in the sunshine, despite it feeling like an eternally long rainy day at the moment, I am looking forward to spring flowers and bluer skies.

I have been in Paris for just over four months, and I will be here until April 2018, so I'm just over halfway through. The last few months have been exhausting and so tough. Moving abroad alone is mentally, emotionally and somehow physically draining in a way that you can never understand unless you go through it.

Feeling homesick is a natural part of moving away from friends and family. Of course, you are going to miss your loved ones, how could you not? Sometimes it's a matter of toughening up and riding it out, other days you can't help but have a cry and going to buy some ice cream at the shop next door. There are wins and there are losses, and both are allowed and are okay.

I have managed to find a few good and reliable ways to cope when the homesickness hits hard, and I am glad to share them. These homesickness hacks have been really helpful for me, as an English girl living in Paris. Some of these tips are location dependent, but most can be applied to wherever you may be in the world - you have to go out and experiment with what works for you.

Here are 30 things you can do if you feel homesick whilst living in Paris

Connect with people back home:

Writing letters and postcards 

Putting pen to paper is becoming less and less common, but it's a really special way to connect with friends and family back home. My Grandma, as Grandma's often do, sends me letters several times a month letting me know what she's up to and asking how I am. It feels so nice reading a letter that someone has had to take the time to write and take to the post office. 

Whenever I go out to touristy places I always try to pick up a few postcards, as it's nice to let your loved ones know what you have been up to that week. An international stamp to England costs €1,10, though you do have to go to a post office to get them. 

Have a regular phone call time every week

If finding a good time to chat with your family is difficult for you, why not have a set time every week where you talk. Some point during the weekend could be nice, most people keep Sunday evening free. It feels reassuring to know you have a regular phone call to count on.

Call/text home whenever you need to

That being said, calling home whenever you feel like it is a good thing too. If you explain to your loved ones that you're feeling homesick, they will likely make the effort to be there for you. My family recently jumped on the 'family group chat' bandwagon, but I love seeing their updates and what's going on in their lives. We talk on there most days, and it means I get to see more pictures of my cats, so what's not to love?

Call your friends - don't be afraid to do this

When I was in primary school, aged 10 and 11 I used to call my best friend most evenings. We called on the landline, I even knew her number by heart, and we would call for 59 minutes, then hang up and call right back (so as not to be charged -  evening calls of up to one hour were free with our telephone provider).

Then phones got better, and texting became much more popular. Fast forward to nowadays, and friends rarely call. There's almost something that feels weird about calling your friend for a chat. But don't be afraid to do this! Chatting nonsense for an hour will make you feel better, and mulling over something more serious will be easier if you can do it with a friend. I use Whatsapp to call my friends and family for free over wifi.

Social media:

Use Facebook groups to meet people

It's natural to feel lonely when you move abroad by yourself, but Facebook can be a great way to meet people. Searching 'meetups' plus your location will pull up a host of Facebook groups you can join, there are quite with expats looking to make friends as well. 'Social girls in Paris' is a particularly good one to join. 

Connect with Uni friends
If you have moved abroad as part of your degree, then chances are there will be other students from your university living in your city or close by. You may not know them very well, but connecting with them through Facebook could be the start of a friendship, and you already have something in common - your university! This is so lovely if you are on a trip as well, I had dinner with someone I didn't know super well from Uni whilst I was in Geneva, and it was great - it definitely beats eating alone by all accounts. 

Use social media as and when you want to
I've been on an Instagram detox since about November and it feels great, I'll be honest. I think everyone knows that social media is a usually a showreel of peoples best moments, but it's often hard to keep that in perspective when you're having a bad day and you see everyone from back home having a lovely time together. Just be careful of how and when you use it.

Have a cull
It isn't mean or antisocial to have a little clean up of your social media accounts. If you've had enough of seeing primary school acquaintances' holiday photos, and memes that barely make you laugh, it might be time to have a cull of friends, likes and the groups you're in. I did this recently, and I can't tell you the relief it's given me - it is a great remedy for homesickness to not have to see everything that will remind you of home. 

Travel:

Plan a trip to a different city

This may seem counterintuitive to fighting homesickness, but planning a day trip or a weekend away can be a nice distraction. Getting out of the house and going to a new place involves planning and research which can be really fun to do. 

Plan a trip home

Trying to live abroad alone without visiting home can be a bleak thought, and if you have the means, a visit home will be lovely. It's bound to be bittersweet as you have to leave your loved ones again, but when you've visited once it becomes much easier to plan another trip home as you know the logistics a bit better. The Eurostar is a great option to get to London from Paris, and when booked a few months in advance can be good value too.  

Have people come and visit

Who wouldn't love to come to Paris on holiday? And particularly to see you! Having friends and family visit you whilst you're on a year abroad is a great way to see your loved ones without having to go anywhere. Push the prospect of free accommodation at yours, and the opportunity to see Paris as a local, and it's a hard offer to refuse. By the end of my time in Paris, I will have had nine different guests come to stay, and some of those will have been twice. Booking the Eurostar or flights in advance is a great and cheap way to entice friends to come out, and seeing planned visits on your calendar gives you that extra motivation you need to push through the homesickness. 

Do English things:

Galeries Lafayette

Heading to Galeries Lafayette on Boulevard Haussmann is a nice way to get a reminder of England, with a few stops in particular. On the 3rd floor there is a Topshop section, and on the 6th floor, there is a Paperchase and an English books section in the librarie. While Paris also has worldwide chains H&M and Zara, like England, a Paperchase and Topshop certainly feel a lot more English. Just seeing English labels can make me feel less out of my depth here.

Cinema VO

The cinema is practically revered in France, but almost every cinema in Paris has showings of English and American blockbusters in the original language. This means for two hours you can be in the cinema (it feels exactly the same as back home) and listen to English being spoken and just enjoy an experience that's similar to home. It is important to see a 'Version Originale' or 'VO' (or 'VOSTF' meaning English with subtitles in French) otherwise the movie will likely be dubbed. Bear in mind, in France seats aren't allocated so you can sit wherever you like as well. 

Head to an Irish bar
If there's anything that will make you feel more in touch with your English roots, it's a drink in a pub. It seems that pubs aren't really a thing in France, where bars are more popular. The next best thing for an anglophone experience is to head to an Irish bar; sure, the people will be French, but the vibe is a bit closer to something you will be used to.

Get your English music fix whilst shopping
I often find that I hear more English/American songs whilst I'm out shopping than French ones. It's somewhat comforting to be browsing a shop and to be able to sing all the lyrics - or understand them at least. I find the best places for this are H&M, Zara and Pull and Bear - but almost all shops play some American/English songs at some point. As if you need a reason to go shopping...

Find comfort in chain stores
This might seem like obvious advice, but you won't realise just how similar chain brands keep their stores until you really look out for it. Most shops and restaurants with international brands (with branches in the UK too) will lay out their stores in a very similar way to keep up with brand consistency. The best ones I've found are Starbucks and McDonalds, and as for shops, Lidl and Primark (there are a few in the suburbs of Paris) are shockingly identical. If you're finding it hard to find an English chain, some of the bigger trains stations in Paris have a Costa (Gare de Lyon, for example), and there are a few Pret A Manger's around the city. 

Take up hobbies:

Knitting, embroidery, scrapbooking or journaling
In an effort to keep busy, I have tried out all of these things. I taught myself to knit with Youtube videos (it is actually very easy to follow, there are some good video tutorials out there - make sure you search ’knitting for kids’ to find the super easy ones). I have journaled for several months of my time here, and I have started a scrapbook with the ticket stubs of the places I have been here. You don't have to be super creative to be able to stick some ticket stubs in a scrapbook (but if you are, you can really go to town), it's just nice to have something concrete to keep after your time abroad is over. I have also taken to embroidery, which is super fun and much less 'old woman-y' than I first thought, more on this soon...

Writing a blog
It's becoming almost a right of passage nowadays for year abroad students to chronicle their experiences in a blog. But blogging can be a really fun and creative hobby and you don't have to necessarily talk about your study abroad experience if that's something you're trying to get out of your head for a bit. Fashion, book or movie reviews, travel, thought-provoking essays and DIY projects are all great topics for a blog. While I didn't start my blog because of my year abroad, it has certainly been a great comfort to me.

Get your gym on
Joining a gym in Paris is expensive, but going to work out is a productive way to get over your homesickness. I joined Neoness, there are quite a few in the Paris area, and I pay 27 euros a month, plus I paid a one-off 60 euro signup fee. Not cheap, but it makes me feel proud of myself when I go and it's nice to tell your loved ones back home that you've been productive.

Reading English books
There's nothing better than snuggling down under a blanket with a good book. Unfortunately, it's actually very difficult to get your hands on an English book in Paris (if you don't want to be ripped off). There is a WH Smith next to Tuileries and Concorde, but it's very expensive. I've heard Berkley Books and Shakespeare and Company both sell English books too, but you won't find them cheap there either. I have been buying my books on Amazon and getting friends to bring them out to me from the UK when they come to visit - but if you can only get back every once in a while like Christmas, just buy a couple of very long ones. Game of Thrones? Harry Potter?

Cook yourself a nice meal
I spend a lot of time looking at recipes - it's one of my favourite things to do. I watch all of those little cooking videos that come up on my Facebook feed, they're addictive. And there's something special about a home cooked meal, which is why I find it really comforting to make a list of ingredients, go out and do a little food shop, and follow a recipe to make yourself a lovely meal. You could cook along on Facetime with a loved one from back home, and then eat together when it's ready too. 

Engage your senses:

Replicate food you cook at home
Whilst we're on the topic of food, sometimes cooking a meal you're used to having at home can be exactly what you need to decrease the miles between where you are and where you wish you were. Replicating the dishes you love from back home is such a lovely way to feel connected to your family, and even better as it could give you an excuse to call home to get the recipe.

Clothes from your loved ones
This may sound weird, but anyone that's been in a long distance relationship will understand. If you miss your boyfriend or girlfriend then sneaking one of their tee shirts or hoodies into your suitcases isn't strange at all - there are actually a tonne of studies about the stress relieving ability of your partner's smell. It's also lovely to get them to send you a tee shirt in the post if they can. Yes, it's bittersweet, but you're going to miss them regardless and this makes it a little easier.

Voice messages or old voicemails
I am such a Whatsapp hoarder - if it's possible to be one. I star any message that's made me smile, voice messages especially. I absolutely love re-listening to old voice messages when I'm missing home as they remind me of good memories. I am certain no one leaves voicemails anymore apart from our grandparents - but if you miss your family at a time when it's just not convenient to call them, you won't believe how comforting listening to voicemails is, regardless of the topic of the call.

Make a feel-good playlist
Many of us use music to psych us up for the gym or at pre-drinks, or to make our commute a little less painful but making a playlist specifically for when you're sad and homesick could be just the thing to get you on the road to feeling better. I know we have a tendency to listen to sad songs when we're sad, but try and keep the playlist for uplifting songs only. If you can't think of any, Pinterest has so many pre-made playlist ideas - a search of 'feel good playlist' will return lots of results.

Have physical things that remind you of home

This is an obvious one, but physical items that connect you to home can provide comfort on nights when you're feeling homesick. Photographs, letters, little gifts and soft furnishings like blankets are perfect. I questioned whether it was a bit much bringing my soft blanket and cushion over with me to France - surely they have cushions there - but the comfort they have provided has definitely made it worthwhile. You can always make room if you need to. 

Self-care

Practise self-care and then show/tell your loved ones back home about it

The word self-care is being branded about quite a lot at the moment, we're in the midst of a self-care revolution, potentially. But just because it's the ideas of the month, as it were, doesn't mean it's nonsense. Self-care, or rather, doing something nice or necessary to take care of yourself, is a very powerful and important thing. When I'm feeling homesick sometimes I just don't feel like doing anything except attempting to teach myself how to teleport back home. However, practising self-care is definitely something you should be doing, and even better if you can show or tell your loved ones about it on the phone. Taking a nice shower, painting your nails or doing your makeup nicely are a few ideas - but again Pinterest saves the day if you are looking for some more self-care inspiration. 

Find a spot in the city that calms you down

Unfortunately, you cannot will yourself back home, no matter how homesick you may be. Something lovely you can do, however, is to find your favourite place in the city that calms you down. For me, the Jardin des Plantes is perfect. I walked to this park with my mum the day I moved out here, it's close to my house and next to the train station I take to work, so in the first few weeks I was here, I used to visit most days after work. It looks a little bleak right now in the winter but I know it will get better soon. Muster up the courage to go on a few adventures and try and find the place you feel most at peace, this can be your little sanctuary when the homesickness hits.

Make a countdown calendar

A few weeks ago, when the going really got tough at work, I wanted nothing more than to pack it in and go home. But I couldn't. So instead I spent an evening hand-drawing a four-month calendar and added all of my trips and workdays onto it, including my last day of work. With each passing day I get to cross off a box, and it reminds me that I'm one step closer to getting to be with my loved ones again for good. 

Accept it while it lasts and realise it won't last forever

I regularly have days where I'm hit with homesickness that devastates me - it's so hard being away from the ones we love, and I'm one of the lucky ones being only a few hours away in Paris. Sometimes there's only one thing to do - accept the sadness and know that when you come out the other side you will be so proud of yourself. And you will come out the other side, I know it.

This was a mammoth post that took a considerable amount of time to put together. I wanted to make sure I included as many ways as I could think of to hopefully reassure you that just because you miss home doesn't mean you're alone, or alone in missing it either. Homesickness is a natural part of moving away, it's something that everyone deals with at some point, so my loved ones keep telling me. They are your lifeline, use them. Chances are, they are missing you just as much. Good luck and you can do this.